Last year, in the midst of a pandemic, I was blessed with the most amazing support from friends - from coworkers - from my boss & his boss. Battling cancer through chemo and radiation was just something you do - like getting dressed in the morning - there's no emotion to it, it's what you do if you want to live.
But being home - you're not hearing from friends & family so regularly to see how you're doing, because you DON'T have cancer anymore. All good, right? Not really. Cancer causes significant PTSD - I spent days worrying and nights not sleeping wondering whether or not it will return. Trying to adjust to the lack of communication, the isolation of the pandemic in a new town where I don't have alot of friends, hiding in my cave of fear and adapting to the stress of a new job, a major home repair, a sick pet, the side effects of my cancer maintenance drugs - it's been tougher than all of last year combined.
- I've started talking to a counselor to work through the fear and anxiety of wondering if it will return. - I've started working out and eating more cleanly (which has helped FAR more than I anticipated).
- I've signed up for monthly massages, because that's my favorite form of self-care.
- I'm doing WELL. But it took some time to mentally get myself here. (And alot of help from my bestie, who knows when I'm struggling even if I don't communicate it)
Some good news:
- My shoulder won't need surgery thanks to an amazing physical therapist and orthopedic doctor
- My dog has recovered from breast cancer surgery (she's still blind and deaf, but it hardly slows her down)
- My kitchen is absolutely beautiful - worth the pain and agony of the six months repair work
- Eating cleanly is having a positive effect on my waistline
So thank you to everyone for your amazing support - and thank you for your patience as I disappeared for awhile. I'm taking better care of me so I'll be around to take care of all of you when you're going through struggles. Please don't hesitate to reach out - we're a tribe. We will see each other through and be stronger for it.
