So, many people already know - or at least SUSPECTED - I'm an alcoholic. It's no longer a secret, and I'm not ashamed to admit it - particularly now that I'm recovering. But recovery looks different to everyone - and I wanted to share some hard-earned wisdom about my journey in particular.
1) HONESTY - I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic. I had to accept that there is no "moderate" drinking at this juncture in my life. I can't think about being "cured" and going back to social drinking. I now consider myself a non-drinker.
2) WANTING IT FOR YOURSELF - The DESIRE to quit had to be there - I had to WANT to stop drinking. Not because I knew I should, not because others begged me to, not because I saw the destruction it was causing, but because *I* wanted to quit. That took some time.
3) CONNECTION - This is where most people attend 12-step meetings like Alcoholics Anonymous, which I feel is a wonderful organization. It just isn't for me. I hated going - I still hate going - but I recognize that the connection is incredibly important to my success. So I found that connection in my Lampworking group - we get together and make great art and talk about anything and everything. We have had extremely deep, philosophical conversations - but mostly it's just a bunch of goofy people having a really goofy time. Without alcohol. (Because let's be honest, when you're working with fire - being under the influence of ANYTHING is a very bad idea)
4) EDUCATION - This is another area where AA can fit the bill - but if that doesn't work for you, you must find ways to understand addiction and how your brain and your body work. I've discovered that by reading EVERY day about addiction, alcoholism, and self-care I'm learning and growing in knowledge in ways that I couldn't by simply attending meetings. I'm discovering WHY we do what we do, learning about other people's paths, and getting all SCIENCE-Y on my recovery. It's really, really good for me and ensures that awareness is ever-present.
5) MOTIVATION - Finally, motivation is a big one. While the motivation to NOT drink is good - I've found that adding some serious "non-alcohol" related motivation has been extremely helpful. At the end of September, I'm going to take the "top of the bucket list" trip I've been wanting to do for 30 years - a trip to Australia. I couldn't be more excited about it - and I know I will take thousands of pictures. I WANT TO LOOK AMAZING in those pictures. Now that I'm not drinking 1600 calories a night, I should be able to get into better shape for scuba diving and climbing the Sydney Harbour Bridge. It's pushed me into not only sobriety but eating better and getting more exercise - all of which are contributing to better health.
I'm sharing my story only because I've met so many amazing people over the past few years - some have succeeded, and many have not - but each one had its own unique challenges. My point is simply that my journey is my own - these are things that have worked for me. As Matt Damon explained in "The Martian" as he's trying to figure out how to survive after being abandoned on the planet, "In the face of overwhelming odds, I'm left with only one option. I'm going to have to science the shit out of this one." Work, experiment, fail, get up, try again - figure out what works for YOU. Realize what it is that you want and need and then do what needs to be done to make it happen.
I'm cheering for you! And I'm happy to listen to your journey if you need another connection to get you through.
