Things really have been better - I feel amazing, my counselor and I have really been successful working through some of the significant grief issues that I've been facing. Nobody teaches you how to grieve - and granted, it's a process that's different for everyone - but stuffing it down and pretending you're not bothered is absolutely not a healthy was to work on loss. So as difficult as the process has been, I'm very grateful for her guidance.
I saw the oncologist - he's highly concerned because my white blood cells have gotten lower rather than improved, making my immune system even more fallible.
But I feel GREAT.
There's just a lurking undercurrent that catching Covid would have devastating results while my white blood cells remain at 1.2 (normal would be 4 - 11) so I continue my isolation whenever possible and mask up whenever I'm out of the house.
Next step is going to be a bone marrow biopsy to see if the chemo/radiation damaged my bone marrow. Which doesn't sound like a great deal of fun - in fact, I'm REALLY not looking forward to it. At all.
But I think about the ongoing issues, and I know that despite the rising costs - I'm in a job that affords me decent insurance. I'm not at risk of losing my house if I'm taking care of my health. For that, I am EXTREMELY fortunate.
Since I'm isolated at home - I get alot of painting done, I do alot of pottery, I am reading books again just for the love of it - which has lowered my stress level and increased my mindfulness. But it does make for a very dull blog. (And I'm okay with that!)
