Everything I knew about chemo and cancer came from watching "Dying Young" and reading Ben Hopkin's blog - so I really think i got a pretty good deal these past 17 weeks. It hasn't been pleasant, but other than some rough days and the trauma of losing my hair - it hasn't been unbearable.
This week......the cumulative effect of all that poison hit me like a pickup truck loaded with concrete travelling at warp speed. Vomiting, pain, chills, rashes, fevers - the whole raging gamut of yuckiness.
And I'm so GRATEFUL. Grateful for 17 weeks of "not nearly this bad." Grateful for excellent care in a third world country.
Grateful for a boss that doesn't threaten to fire me when I'm having a bad day or am especially chemo cranky. Grateful for the love and support from back home that's been overwhelming.
I've got about 7 more days of feeling like absolute garbage before things start turning around - so I probably won't be wholly social - but after that, LOOK OUT world! We are on the road to recovery!
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Okay - non Facebook version. You CANNOT even imagine the suckiness right now. Everything hurts. Nothing stays down. It's too hot in here. It's too cold in here. I'm having chills and sweats. My feet are burning on the bottom. I have a really strange nasty rash. And I'm suuuuuuper cranky. I mean, take my normal Resting Bitch Face - add chemo cranky - and then put the whole, 'no hair, spotty eyebrows, and the one or two eyelashes remaining' and it's more than slightly terrifying.
Hence, no picture on the Facebook post - I don't really need people to remember this look today. But I do want to remember how awful it feels right now. I want to remind myself that I survived this and that it got better. And better. And better.
You'er Beautiful :-)
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Youre Beautiful :-)
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