24. A Formal Complaint

No, no, this has nothing to do with yesterday - my boss is convinced there's some hugely embarrassed twenty year old sitting at his office worrying if some crazy old lady is going to report him for grabbing her.

He's been trying out new nicknames - "Umbrella Avenger"  "Ruth Buzzy II"  "Helga the Axe Queen"

We're good there.  Today I discovered something truly alarming and decided I would take the drastic step of reporting it to corporate.  The exchange follows:


------------------------------

Dear Charles:

I would like to petition corporate to consider Hazard Pay for those of us living and working in Kosovo.

There is currently NO KETCHUP in Kosovo.

And while the masks and PPE that Mike has passed out are fantastic for keeping us safe, one still has to have a WILL to live....

Life WITHOUT ketchup?

Was definitely NOT in my original contract....

Sincerely,

Nikki

----------------------------------------

Dear Nikki:

Hazard pay?   Not a chance.

Would you like me to send you some ketchup?

Charles

-----------------------------------------

Dear Charles:

Whilst I appreciate the kind gesture, I think you've missed the larger picture.

The DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE specifically grants us the right to ketchup.  It's one of those inalienable rights.

Life, liberty....THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.

Ketchup is extremely important in the pursuit of happiness.

The infringement of my rights really should be compensated - as one could also argue that we are being subjected to "cruel and unusual punishment".

I'm not alone in this - have you seen the swaths of protesters?  (photo attached)

VIVA LA REVOLUTION!

Nikki

--------------------------------------------

Nikki:

I have already purchased ketchup and sent it in today's mail so you are not delayed in your happiness.

But no hazard pay.

Charles

--------------------------------------------

Dear Charles:

I would like to petition corporate to consider Hazard Pay for those of us living and working in Kosovo.

There is currently NO MIRACLE WHIP in Kosovo.

And while the masks and PPE that Mike has passed out are fantastic for keeping us safe, one still has to have a WILL to live....

Life WITHOUT Miracle Whip?

Was definitely NOT in my original contract....

Sincerely,

Nikki