Sunday, May 24, 2020

30. Do People Change?


Years and years ago I had a friend so close to my heart I considered her a sister - I literally loved her like one of my sisters.  It was a difficult time for me, and I struggled so much with coming into adulthood and relationships and communication - things I hadn't much experience with when I first moved out on my own.

Then after years and years of being as thick as thieves, I lashed out verbally in anger and frustration about something I couldn't put into words  (I don't even remember what) and she said, "Finally, I see your true colors.  Our friendship is over."  I was devastated and confused.

Years later we were accidentally reunited as part of a group discussion about politics - Mitt Romney was running for President and she said, "I would never vote for him.  He strapped his dog to the top of the car once, which makes him an evil person and people don't change."

That conversation has bothered me ever since.  DO people change?

I know since those early days, I've learned about communication and relationship and love - I've made a lot of mistakes, and I've grown from them.  More importantly, I've lived in multiple states and abroad - including my current home in a third world country.  I've spent time in Germany, and their dedication to recycling has rubbed off on me.  I've lived in Hawaii, where their emphasis on relaxing and enjoying life has affected my work/life balance.  I've seen things here in Kosovo and throughout my travels - people surviving by combing through trash piles and begging for money, a lack of freedom to make choices or change their status, and abject corruption as a way of life.  These experiences have definitely filtered my view of the world and my own life.

Confusion has given way to gratitude and an understanding of how truly fortunate I have been.  Experience and time have provided maturity of thought and a little bit of wisdom.  Adventure has given me some awesome stories to share.  Cancer has given me the realization that time is short and procrastination is dangerous.

But have I changed?  DO people change?  I believe they do.  I believe they evolve and they grow - OR they choose not to.  I've seen more of the world than most - my perspective is understandably different, and if you've lived a happy life without ever leaving your small town or state, I'm not sure one could truly grasp things from my vantage point.  I'm not judging you for it - you have a perspective that I don't have as well, though I'd love to hear more about it in an intelligence open minded discussion (preferably not about politics).

Just curious as to what everyone else thinks.  DO people change?  Truly?

----------------------

Cancer update - chemo has been moved to Tuesday, as Monday is a holiday in Kosovo as well.






No comments:

Post a Comment