When I walked into work today after yesterday's chemo (later than I should have been), my boss took
one look at me and said, "ewww. rough treatment, eh?"
EVERY muscle in my body hurts, I have a migraine, I'm horribly nauseous, I'm
exhausted and didn't sleep more than 2 hours last night, although I had to
get up to pee about 14 times.
And today, although I'm hurting and cranky and tired beyond reason - I'm
laughing a little bit, because I still feel overwhelmingly grateful to have
the medical expertise that's keeping me alive so I can get home and take
that "Hug Tour" I have promised myself.
The GOOD news is that treatment is NOT going to be extended an extra six
weeks. My doctor and I talked about it, and he weighed in with another
highly respected expert that I've been referred to here in Kosovo, and we're
sticking with the plan. In three weeks, I'll start my nine weekly
treatments of the new chemo drug - which should be much less brutal than the
combination I've been on.
What really struck me yesterday, as I walked into the hospital in my giant
hazmat type mask that Neal Roberts sent me - is how few doctors and patients
were wearing masks INSIDE the hospital. And many of them that were, had
them around their necks rather than their face. One patient walked by me
coughing with no mask on and I shot him the look that said I would basically
shank him - and he put his mask on and apologized.
It was....odd. They've relaxed restrictions and case numbers are going up
here in Kosovo, but they are still relatively small numbers compared to the
U.S. Most of our on base stores have opened (sadly not the massage place -
I am DYING) - and the gym will open next week. The stores in town are open,
and the restaurants will reopen next week as well. For me, none of this
makes a difference - I'll be socially distancing through the end of chemo in
August no matter what, and then probably during radiation as my immune
system builds back up.
Am I angry? Am I indignant? No. I'm just confused. Bewildered. (Okay,
I'm angry at that one guy who was obviously sick and not wearing his mask -
that's just jerk behavior.)
Curious to see how things are going to play out. Will we ever get to go
back to see one of those Spectacular Broadway shows like TITANIC or DEAR
EVAN HANSEN? Will we ever feel safe eating at a restaurant again? Will
there be a time when hugs can be freely given to strangers without it
feeling like an attack? Man, I hope so. But I'll take nothing for granted
if we do - I'll love every moment and be grateful for whatever we safely get
to do to connect moving forward.
one look at me and said, "ewww. rough treatment, eh?"
EVERY muscle in my body hurts, I have a migraine, I'm horribly nauseous, I'm
exhausted and didn't sleep more than 2 hours last night, although I had to
get up to pee about 14 times.
And today, although I'm hurting and cranky and tired beyond reason - I'm
laughing a little bit, because I still feel overwhelmingly grateful to have
the medical expertise that's keeping me alive so I can get home and take
that "Hug Tour" I have promised myself.
The GOOD news is that treatment is NOT going to be extended an extra six
weeks. My doctor and I talked about it, and he weighed in with another
highly respected expert that I've been referred to here in Kosovo, and we're
sticking with the plan. In three weeks, I'll start my nine weekly
treatments of the new chemo drug - which should be much less brutal than the
combination I've been on.
What really struck me yesterday, as I walked into the hospital in my giant
hazmat type mask that Neal Roberts sent me - is how few doctors and patients
were wearing masks INSIDE the hospital. And many of them that were, had
them around their necks rather than their face. One patient walked by me
coughing with no mask on and I shot him the look that said I would basically
shank him - and he put his mask on and apologized.
It was....odd. They've relaxed restrictions and case numbers are going up
here in Kosovo, but they are still relatively small numbers compared to the
U.S. Most of our on base stores have opened (sadly not the massage place -
I am DYING) - and the gym will open next week. The stores in town are open,
and the restaurants will reopen next week as well. For me, none of this
makes a difference - I'll be socially distancing through the end of chemo in
August no matter what, and then probably during radiation as my immune
system builds back up.
Am I angry? Am I indignant? No. I'm just confused. Bewildered. (Okay,
I'm angry at that one guy who was obviously sick and not wearing his mask -
that's just jerk behavior.)
Curious to see how things are going to play out. Will we ever get to go
back to see one of those Spectacular Broadway shows like TITANIC or DEAR
EVAN HANSEN? Will we ever feel safe eating at a restaurant again? Will
there be a time when hugs can be freely given to strangers without it
feeling like an attack? Man, I hope so. But I'll take nothing for granted
if we do - I'll love every moment and be grateful for whatever we safely get
to do to connect moving forward.
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