The worst week possible. I just....can't.
I can't even begin to process the loss of my beautiful and strong cancer buddy, Ben Hopkin, who passed away after an aneurism on Sunday. When I spoke with him on video chat last week, he convinced me that he was going to beat cancer yet again - despite the fact that he'd defied the odds two or three times already and achieved miracles the medical community couldn't fathom.
But his journey came to an end Sunday night - and it destroyed what was left of my broken heart.
I've written about him before, but Ben was one of those TRULY REMARKABLE souls - with a kindness and a vulnerability that he shared willingly with anyone. He was a fierce advocate for any marginalized group and actively participated in protests for Black Lives Matter and Gay Pride, even during his cancer treatments. He was a brilliant actor (he was one of the stars in the first thing I directed at BYU, Chicago) and director - and from what I've been reading from his students, a superb acting professor who could bring things out in you that you tried very hard to keep hidden from the world. I'm overwhelmed at the love and grief that's pouring out on Facebook.
So I'm going to continue blogging about radiation - but recognize that my heart is really NOT in it. It just seems like the world doesn't recognize what's been taken - even though I can see from the hundreds and HUNDREDS of tributes, that at least a small portion of it does.
Radiation went by smoothly and without much to tell - on Monday, my neighbor and friend Janice Middleton drove with me to Skopje. On the way back, we stopped at an outdoor restaurant and had a really nice lunch. It was such a nice change to have company - and to sit and chat and have a decent meal! (She doesn't work on Mondays and offered to come along) It was really good, especially after losing Ben, to feel that connection with someone - and to have a normal meal outside of my room. Plus, it was excellent conversation for the hour drive to Skopje and back.
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