59. Aftermath

 

Much has changed in the past week.

First of all, I'm OUT of Kosovo and safely ensconced in my sister's house in Germany.  I've got another week of required quarantine, but it's been an awesome week so far thanks to my sister's pre-planning.  I've made homemade tzatziki, swiss zucchini rolls, coconut shrimp - it's been a week of fresh fruit and vegetables without a SINGLE use of the microwave.  I feel like I'm in heaven after 8 months of eating in my barracks room.

Secondly, there's a BATHTUB - although i haven't been able to take one yet due to the third degree burns I suffered during radiation therapy.  They got much, much worse after my last treatment - the skin turned black, and blistered in other places - and the pain has been so great I can hardly walk around.  But after a week, it's starting to get a little better and I managed to get a full night of sleep for the first time last night.  There is DEFINITELY a bath in my immediate future.

Thirdly, Fluffy.  She's not Princess Peanut, but she's been my constant companion for a week as we take walks during the day, snuggle at night, and share treats at the table.

But how do I FEEL?  Well, there's been so much pain from the burns I haven't really thought about it.  Lucky, most of all.  Very fortunate.  Grateful.  Still searching for my new purpose, but I've found my peace which is really what I hoped to accomplish over the past year.  I'm making a list of things I want to do - write a short series paper about my year in Kosovo, work on a book with my Uncle Larry (award winning author), get my house repairs done, visit Ireland to pay my respects to Barbara, etc.  Right now most of my goals are short term goals to help my sister (defrost the freezer, organize the pantry, clean the house, etc.) - but I'm looking forward to longer term things as well.  And it's nice to have that long term mindset again.

Being with my nieces full time is HILARIOUS.  For whatever reason, they listen to me as opposed to their mother most of the time.  So when I tell them no wifi/television until their chores and homework are done, they give me the look of abject depression - BUT THEY DO THEM.  And then I leave them in peace.

Not that it's easy with a 10 year old who is more stubborn than I am and a 14 year old going through all the teenage angst.  But it's definitely worth it.  When they try something I cook and actually enjoy it (or even if they try it and don't like it, it's a compliment), when they ask if they can help me with something, when they ask if I can help THEM with something.....there won't be many more years when it's "cool" to hang out with Aunt Knikki - and I'm really enjoying the time while I can.

Can't wait until quarantine is over and we can adventure  (and by adventure, I mean going to Starbucks for coffee with them - I'm not insane).