Monday, March 30, 2020

16. I'm Outta Here (Maybe)

Well, not yet - but it was decided today that I'm going to do all of my treatment in Macedonia.  I pretty much had three options:

1)  Treatment in Macedonia and drive back/forth to work - this was my plan all along, but the border closures are making this impossible.  And though the hospital has issued me a medical pass to get to Macedonia, it's a one time deal.

2)  Treatment in Germany at Landstuhl - this was a really good plan because I have a good friend (boss) that lives there and offered me a place to stay.  But truthfully, they've got ALOT going on over there right now - and after trying to get ahold of the docs there unsuccessfully for a few weeks, I just don't feel like I would be getting the care I need in the midst of a global crisis that has hit Germany pretty hard.

3)  So I'm going to be staying in Macedonia for the duration of my treatment (about 12 weeks) - this is not ideal in so many ways, but it's the best choice for quality of care - and the isolation in a hotel during my recovery will truly minimize the germs I'm exposed to as my immune system is wracked with chemo.

Keep in mind that the last THREE times I figured out with any definitive thought how my treatment was going to go, EVERYTHING changed.  But I feel strongly that this is my best chance for success and work has been really super supportive.  Just waiting on start dates and confirmation from the hospital about how much it's going to cost  (they're super reasonable, but you still have to pay for everything up front so always good to know)

How am I doing?  Well, I am not having violent mood swings and crying fits any more - I've had time to process what's going on, research what's going to happen next, and accept the cost of recovery.  I'm highly worried about being isolated for 12 weeks - even though I know it's a GOOD thing, it's going to be super tough and I hope everyone will reach out once in awhile and say hi.

In the worlds of the great Lin Manuel Miranda, "The world is upside down!"  This is the time when we've really got to keep an eye out on one other and do our best to make sure our neighbors and co-workers and friends and family are doing all right.  This is the time for kindness.  And I feel that going into treatment - that somehow kindness will prevail.  Maybe I'm being overly optimistic - but people keep proving every day that this isn't the case.

Kindness will prevail.

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad you have come to a decision Knikki and I'm sure it will be the right one. I, for one, will be in touch x

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